How to Deal with the Fear of Missing Out

I’ve been declining requests and invitations from close friends and family for the purpose of staying on task with my personal and professional goals and schedule. It’s left me with a huge case of the fear of missing out, a.k.a. FOMO.

I know I need to deal with this FOMO because the commitment I made to the high performance lifestyle that leads to my own well-being and to better management of my energy and time. It allows me to serve my loved ones at a greater level than I was doing before while feeling good about it; so yeah it’s important to me. As I’m making these adjustments, I appreciate my closest friends and family that are being understanding of the changes I’m creating in my own life.

Here are the 3 steps that I take to deal with FOMO:

  1. Think about my potential — Life has an infinite number of possible futures that all stem from decisions made in the present. Which future do I want to set up for myself? What can I achieve with concentrated, passionate, and dedicated efforts?NOW is the time to set that all up. It’s my time NOW! Cool! The time has finally come for me to do my life’s work. It was for this precious block of time that I declined all requests and invitations, but sometimes I get stuck here. I may get overwhelmed or resort to easy distractions such a cleaning or snacking. I recognize this particular moment (the beginning of my block time) as a vulnerable spot for distractions.
  2. Exercise – Here’s my cue to exercise and give my brain some goodies!

This book helped me: Spark shares and discusses research findings and case studies about how exercise is beneficial for the brain in all stages and phases of life. Literally. The book addresses the positive impact that exercise has when learning, when dealing with anxiety, attention variability, anger, and depression, and when going through life as children, adults (for women, during pregnancy and hormonal fluctuations), and while aging all the way through dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. The brain is the chief organ of the body, and exercise is a wonderful and amazing tonic to the brain. 

I get straight to the point. All I need is a yoga mat and appropriate clothing for my circuit: plank, yoga, squats, arms, bagua, and repeat. I love the feeling of being strong and agile. After I give my brain some juice, I’m fresh and my mind is alert.

3.  Execute – Start taking actions towards my goals. It helps to remember what those goals are—success with the 3 main projects that I’m working on. Each of those projects has about 5 majors steps to take to complete them so I have a few options for execution. I’m using the 1-page Productivity Planner from Certified High Performance Coaching.

After following these three steps, I suddenly find myself being very creative in a focused way. That was unexpected; surprising and exciting. It feels good breaking through FOMO. (Note to self: Keep in mind to appreciate and nurture my relationships after making the progress I was hoping for.) Life–it’s happening! Comment below if you have any questions or insights about FOMO :).

Best regards,
Diane
Certified High Performance Coach

The Art of Saying, “No.”

“Welcome to your life.” It’s the first line of one of my favorite songs by Tears for Fears.

I’ve arrived to my life! And it’s starting to blossom in a way that I always knew that it could; that is, I’m living in my usual enthused manner while now being conscientious about how I spend the minutes of my day. Now comes the tricky part.

I have to change.

It’s okay. I have some experience with changing and I’m getting close to accepting the fact that change will always be happening.

Being a “Yes” man is so fun, especially when it is to a loved one, when traveling, or when following an expert, but since it is not-so-great for dedicated efforts I began to say, “No.”

The toughest questions came from my closest friends and family: Want to go to home depot? Want to watch a movie? Let’s make ceviche! Can you go to Sprouts? Could we go to Costco? Want to go to a concert next month? Can you help me with work? Want to eat? Let’s play tennis. Could you change the light bulb? Could you give me a ride? Are you going to make dinner? ? ? ? ? ? ? Here’s what happened:

1.  Just say, “No,” to any request or suggestion.
——–I ended up changing my mind a lot. Oh yeah, I need to think first. I forget to do that sometimes because it’s easier when things are all-or-nothing.

2.  Think first. If it’s really a no, say, “NO,” very firmly and stare at them so they could know how serious I am about it.
——–It got weird, very awkward, and I felt like a jerk shutting off further communication. I responded in this way because of my straight-forward characteristic. This is when I learned that there is a much better way to communicate a.k.a. exchange ideas.

Think. The reason I’m saying, “No,” is because I want to stay on task with my personal and professional goals and schedule. Think more. They have their own reasons for asking me of something. Now, thinking is part of the equation and it will be implied to always be the first thing to do. Another thing that is implied is that after their request I now ask more questions until their request is for something very specific. That way I could think about it with all the necessary information.

3.  “I wish I could do that,” or any of it’s variations
——–This turned out to work well! Whoop! And I like it even more because the truth of it. It implies that I decline and it addresses their need and my desire to help them.

I could stop there, but you know I won’t! I need and want more action and forward movement in caring about the relationship. I’m thinking about my close friends and family; these are people that I love!

4.  Go a step further and try to create a win-win scenario — My win in an interaction with a loved one is to spend quality time with them.
——–If they ask me to do something by myself: Decline, and then ask if we could do it together at a decided time in the future.
——–If they ask me to do something together: Decline, and then ask if we could plan to do it later or plan to do something else later, depending on the situation.

Declining an offer or invitation from someone I love is a simple art and one I’m glad to have learned sooner than later. Thanks for reading and I hope this post gave you some ideas or laughs. If you have an insight that I need to know, please comment it on this post. I’ll appreciate the perspective :).

Your coach,
Diane

Foundations of High Performance

It feels good. Life is getting exciting! My productivity has increased and I feel clear in what I’m doing and where I want to go.

Hi, you! I’m Diane and this is my first blog post as a certified High Performance Coach. People have been asking me if what I’m doing is related to sports, so I wanted to explain what I mean when I say High Performance. High Performance is an amazing time of life when you are consistently excelling and succeeding above your standard norms. Did you get the key word? It was “consistently!” High Performance isn’t a surprise, and anyone could have it with the right mindset and the right habits.

Getting a life coach is life changing in the best ways. After I started getting coached my life started to transform, and I’ll share with you the three foundations of High Performance while explaining how getting coached has affected my life.

It starts with FOCUS. I’ve been abundantly blessed that sometimes I’m in awe of what I experienced getting to this point. It’s been very important to me to pass it on and be generous and caring to the people I encounter. I realized my caring and generosity was very random. Now, I’m focusing my positive efforts towards other people in a way that is beneficial for me in the long run. I found a certain direction for my kind acts. This is very big for me because it made my efforts more sustainable. At this point in my life, I don’t want to be random anymore. I’m going for deliberate and decisive actions that benefit society, friends, family, and me.

Then to how much CONTROL you have over your own life. I opened my eyes to my personal power in 2008. Since then it’s been an amazing experience using the law of attraction and embracing the control I have over my environment, my actions, and my diet. Still, there have been many ups and downs as the human experience is very complex. Recently I took back control over my sleeping schedule. It was a funny moment that I had with myself when I realized that I am now an adult whose bed time is not dictated to me by my parents, a baby (I’m married, and do not have children), or any rule or establishment, and I have the power to choose the time I go to sleep (8 hours from the time I want to wake up).

The last foundation of High Performance is HABITS. There is a big difference in the habits of hugely successful people and everyone else. One of those habits is the amount of exercise they devote to their physical bodies each week. High Performance Institute found that the top 15% of those who identified themselves as High Performers exercised a minimum of 4 days a week. Today I find myself 2 years into a routine with minimal and inconsistent exercise. It’s a very different experience from the 2 years prior when I used to exercise daily. Coaching is helping me get consistent exercise back into my life by bringing to light why it is important to stay fit and work up a sweat at least 4 times a week.

Focus, level of Control, and Habits are the three foundations of a High Performance lifestyle. So, here are some questions for you to contemplate these ideas for yourself:

FOCUS:
What are your 3 biggest goals in your personal/professional life for the next three months?
What is a common distraction for you and how can you mitigate it?

CONTROL:
Is there an area of your life that you feel is out of control?
What is an area that you have been wanting to improve but have been avoiding?

HABITS:
What habits do you have that are supporting your health and success?
Are there any habits that you need to stop immediately or start immediately to reach your goals faster?

Thanks for reading. This is the beginning of my coaching journey as a High Performance Coach. Join me as I experience the high performance lifestyle and create more positive, impactful moments in life.

All the best,
Diane Ki
High Performance Coach